WarKitty

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch.”

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Cats: curing hangovers since 1936. Most people will tolerate the side-effect: hairballs.

I’m not too sure about this new patio furniture you guys got. Do you really think this is safe?

Can we turn the page already?

Meta cat drinks your coffee.

I will play for you the song of time and space. Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow.

It’s cat on the head guy! See video of him in action here: cat on head.

[pics via]

Chewbacca playing baseball may not be normal, but on meth it is…

I knew an ex-meth freak. He told me that once when he was on a three day binge, he saw a guy trying to steal the telephone pole, so he went out there with a baseball bat to stop him.

Anyone remember when pacifiers were gangsta? Well, diapers are the new hotness. Look out, 2009, I’m ridin’ dirty.

Kids. They need to calm the F down.

The Uncomb: for that I passed out in the restroom of a bar look without the expensive drinks.

A baby riding a unicorn with bacon wings may not seem normal, but on meth it is.